Writing isn't all reviews and sales. It's not all great fun, hammering away at the keyboard, watching the words and images in your mind appear on the screen and having that feeling that you've created something good, something that people might want to read, and actually enjoy.
There's a lot of crap that goes with it to. Some of it is stuff that you can control, and some of it isn't. Most of the time I like to think that I can tell the difference, and not worry about the stuff that's beyond my control, and just get on with the stuff that I can. But, I'm only human. Things happen. Things get to me.
I've moved house (hell, I've moved interstate) and I'm still getting settled. My new bed only just arrived today, I've still got crap scattered across the floor of my room (I need to add some more furniture so I can put it all away), I still haven't got a job (I've had a couple of interviews, and Easter did get in the way, I suppose), and I still haven't got into a routine here (it doesn't help that my flatmate is a shift worker).
So, I guess maybe I've been dwelling on things instead of just getting on with things.
Sales of Eria have dried up. I had a couple of "solid" months, with February being the best of them. I was positive. I thought maybe things were picking up. March was just awful. This month hasn't been much better. Maybe all the people that are going to buy it have already done so. Maybe all the friends and family had finally caught up with it, and that's it. I released The Dragon's Spine and I was pretty happy with it. It felt good writing it, and it reads well. If anything, I think it's better than Eria. I think, as a writer, I'm getting better. Sales of The Dragon's Spine, to be honest, are just woeful. Maybe people are just sick of me talking about it, building it up, or, after reading Eria and about the novella, they just aren't interested. Maybe they are put off by the 99 cent price tag.
There are a lot of maybes in there, and, at the end of the day, I just don't know. It's disheartening, really. It just seems like another thing that's not quite going right for me at the moment.
I know I should just dust myself off, get back to "writing the good write" (which was my status message on some IMs for a while), and let things flow. But there's always that nagging little voice in the back of my mind that asks whether or not it's worth it.